How are you? I hope you still have your job. I'm sure it's the only reason you worked so hard to grow out that gray and white beard so perfectly. And it gives you a little extra pocket money to spoil the grandkids on Christmas. Now, I have a few other reasons for hoping for your employment. For one, you truly look like the real Santa Claus; an authentic beard, pasty skin, and a bit of a belly. Secondly, you are the only Santa in the history of Santas who hasn't made my son Logan run away in fear, while simultaneously crapping himself. Because of you, I have a photo of my almost 3 year old sitting on Santa's lap, smiling! Thank you. My third reason for wanting you to still be a Mall Santa is how you got my child to sit on your lap. Logan was very adament about not sitting on your lap and making a B-Line for the exit. And then you said it. "What do you want for Christmas, Logan? A choo-choo train?" Yes! My son's face lit up with excitement and awe that Santa is real! A train is the only thing he has been asking Santa to bring him (besides a box of course). I really wish you had stopped there! Why did you suddenly have a case of verbal diarrhea (I suppose, it's much better than actual diarrhea though. Talk about traumatizing). I NEED you to have your job, because I feel you need to know my son's full name, as well as his address over Christmas. Mall Santa sir, do you want to know what was never on my son's Christmas list? A Buzz Lightyear. Remember what you asked him if he would like under the tree, after nailing the train guess right on the head? Yes, a Buzz Lightyear. You following me yet? My son now expects Buzz Lightyear to be under the freaking Christmas tree when Santa delivers his presents. Sometimes he doesn't even mention the train until after telling me Santa is bringing him a Buzz Lightyear. But guess what? I already sent his dang letter to the North Pole, and it did not include a Buzz Lightyear! It has been a couple weeks now and he still has not forgotten what you, Mall Santa, said to him. Anyways, thank you for the photographs. They came out great, Logan's cheesey smile and all! I hope you find a coupon somewhere, Buzz Lightyears are expensive!
Sincerely,
Logan's Mom
P.S. I suppose it could be worse. At least you aren't this Mall Santa!
http://www.wcvb.com/news/local/Maine-mall-sacks-Santa-after-rudeness-complaints/-/9848876/17675762/-/11se9ij/-/index.html
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| The moment Santa asked Logan if he wanted a Buzz Lightyear for Christmas. |
